vendredi 15 février 2013

Trauma....and the environment after a trauma

Hello Readers,

I'll start with a direct quote from the New York time:
the studies suggest that there is no trauma to alleviate until the post-event social environment plays its role.
Source: A new focus on the 'Post' in Post-Traumatic Stress

They refer about this study: Political Violence and mental health in Nepal: Prospective study and another one which I'll find and blog later on.

Reading the list of blog I encountered tonight (listed below) was highly enlightening in the aftermath of my numerous psychological trauma. The first trauma happened when my roommate lived in my place. For that trauma, the aftermath is that I spent many weeks in an heightened state of stress and anxiety. This was during the summer 2005. In October, I left the apartment and moved out and during the fall semester, I slept it out, sleeping 15 hours per day and generally failing my semester at university.

The Winter 2006 semester, I did a bang-up job of returning to school acing 3 courses and a lab (it was a 10 credit load) with one course failed (it was pass or fail but the course was incredibly boring and I slept it out). Next summer (2006), 3 courses which I succeed (including the failed course of the previous semester).

During that time, my aggressor was holding some important mail from the disability department of Quebec's ministry of education (which obviously never got the memo from Quebec's financial aid that I changed address). This had the effect of being under control of my aggressor. During the summer 2006, my aggressor had a congress and he forced me (even calling me at 3am) to keep his cat at his place while he was in Ottawa. At his return, a rife ensued and we argued over some statement relating to the aggression I had and he swore to get revenge. At first, it didn't dawn on me to call the police when he harassed me.

Then the real trauma begin; I was harassed daily by his friends and even some total strangers. this lasted an eternity and I swear, my aggressor wanted me dead (by suicide) so I was pilled on daily. I even had to resort doing grocery at home via the internet in order to never get out.

I resorted to speak about the harassment and my depression to Dr. Mottron, my employer at the time. From that time, he also assisted as my psychiatrist. An initial consultation is done at the end of October 2007 which I wasn't listened to (and this was explained in a previous blog post).

From there, all I've done was send email about my problems and call for help. The thing is, I was not getting any feedback but all my email were getting somewhere which I'll explain later on. During that time (Fall 2007 to middle of 2008), the doctoral student would discuss about my case with the doctor but I was never involved.

One crucial email sent directly to the doctor (most emails were passing through the doctoral student) was a description of an harassment event in which I suffered significant damage and I had to explain both the events and my reaction to it. I received no answers.

The responses to these emails came in October 2008 after a rife with the doctoral student (described in a previous post). The diagnostic my doctor give me is bipolar disorder; he didn't say if I had psychotic element but I feel safe to assume so because of the aforementioned crucial email in which he could denies ever happened.

This is when I did my worst depression and now, I understand that the answer to a (or many in my case) traumatizing event is crucial for proper remission and this is what the Nepal paper speaking about with two groups of child soldiers returning home; the group facing adverse conditions on the return home have higher incidence of depression than those returning home with good conditions. Anxiety level remained the same in both groups.

I never was understood and this caused me a lot more damage than anything else I witnessed during these years. I feel like it's evident that the response is important.

various very interesting sources:

and some soothing music:


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